It's Easy To Miss The Message

It is amazing how old Dale Carnegie reaches out and grabs us, spins us around, and the next thing we know we are changing the way we act, listen, and think on our feet. His "principles" can be applied to almost every encounter we have with others.  Some are easily practiced, while other's are more challenging.  The most thought-provoking principles for me are the ones that stress the importance of being able to "listen".  Just when I think I'm making progress in this area, I find myself missing out on the importance of "another message". 
While working as a property manager I dealt with homeowners day in and day out, mostly the same owners time and time again.  One homeowner we will call her "Lucy", would call me every other day...like clock work.  It seemed as though I would get one issue resolved then there was another.  Each being equally important to her.  Sometimes it would be because her neighbors cat walked on her car or a simple drip at the pool faucet.  Often I would think, that she would go out of her way to find something to complain about.  After about a three months of this I started taking things personally.  Could I not please this person? Was she ever going to be happy with "anything". She was literally wearing me out.  So, one afternoon I approached my boss and expressed to her my frustration with these never ending calls.  Without hesitation she suggested that when Lucy calls just let her talk. Listen to her with open ears, try to hear her out, wait for her to finish, say nothing!  Don't defend yourself, don't discuss the actions taken, don't interrupt her.  I discovered that when I did this it gave me time to hear something more than her daily complaint, it gave me time to listen to her tone of voice, it gave me time to see things from her perspective, it gave me the ability to get to know her better. Once I started listening, I heard a strong-minded lonely person.  You see, Lucy didn't really let the paw prints on her car upset her, nor did she really care about the leak at the pool, she just wanted someone to talk to.  After that day, I made an attempt to have a cup of her "unpredictable" coffee with her every week.  Lucy became one of my biggest supporters in the community, so don't miss the message, let others talk, listen with open ears, and remember it's not all about you.